[Solipsism]
n.Philosophy. 1. The theory that the self is the only thing that can be known and verified. 2. The theory or view that the self is the only reality.//solopsist (n.)solipsistic (adj.) solipsistically(adv.) [Latin solus (alone) + ipse (self).]

My neurosis has a first name...it's b-o-y-s

14 June 2004
Tonite, Katie told me that I need to stop getting so stressed out over everything. There's no question that she's right. I can't really explain why I freak out over everything. Dr. Amazing says that I'm entirely too stressed out for someone my age. He doesn't understand how I "do it." In truth, I don't understand most of the time either.

At present, I'm stressed out over 'S.' I met him the other nite, after several cancellations and rescheduling. It seemed to go really well. We saw "Shrek 2" and grabbed a bite to eat. It was cute. He's cute. And almost exactly the way that I had imagined he would be. It's so nice to see things about people in person that you wouldn't have deciphered otherwise. Anyway, I had a really nice time with him.

Except.

I haven't heard from him really since then. He called me a few times on Friday to chit chat, but we more or less kept missing one another. Last nite I didn't heard from him at all, which was strange for us since he usually makes a point to call before he goes to sleep. I left two or three drunken messages on his voicemail before finally giving up.

It seems silly to assume that he's done with me, but I stress out and after not hearing from him, I'm thinking "Oh boy, what did I do wrong? Why is he not calling?"

Before I overanalyze this much more, I should probably go to bed. But I miss 'S' and I miss another one and if they don't call me soon, they'll both be fired. :)

...except I can't really do that.

--

Arianne

12:32 AM ::
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Arianne. I'm a 22 year old young woman and I'm on the cusp of beginning my entire life, a thought which terrifies and exhilirates me--often at the same time. I am learning to love myself for the first time in my life. I am learning to find true happiness, ready to find love when he's ready to find me and always waiting for something better.
Previously
Yeah, Yeah. Here you go. - 12 March 2005
Nothing to Say to You. - 09 February 2005
The Way I Feel for You. - 25 January 2005
Eh, it's random. - 15 January 2005
:) - 09 January 2005
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