No Point to this Entry.
05 April 2004
There are so many things I think I should put in this box sometimes, but I don't think I get anywhere by pointing out shortcomings. It's been brought to my attention that others are considering my recent behavior as dangerous, flawed and just plain stupid. To each their own. I'm grateful for the concern that inspires those opinions and I respect them, but I just don't seem to understand what I'm supposed to do with that information. I hear it, I take it in and weigh it carefully. But in the end, these are still my decisions to make. And I've been overly cautious and scared for quite some time now.I guess the consensus might be that I'm some sort of alter-ego, a new, "throw caution to the wind" version of myself, but I'm just trying to live my life and to have fun. Maybe it's all a direct reaction to past experience, but if I never try these things, how will I know what might happen? I lived life too long in the "What if?" corner.
These things all used to be part of who I was back in the day and they are resurfacing again. As they continue to manifest, I'm reminded of the greatest rule I imposed upon myself which was to simply keep my mouth shut.
*sigh*
But, there is so much pain in keeping secrets.
--
Arianne
