Way to Kill My Self-Reflection Time...

My mom was right about the metaphor she created about friendships being passing vehicles. Just as I saw one speed away and stood on the shoulder dumbstruck, three more immediately came to my rescue and helped me get everything running again. I hope to ride on this highway for a while.

I have a tendency to overanalyze situations in my life which point to my personal failure. So many thoughts wasted on what I did wrong, on how I could have fixed something, about how much more patient I should have been. I have such a tough time realizing that people are responsible for their own actions. As such, I have every right to react with my own. I just hate it when it has to come to black and white type issues.

*insert totally unrelated rant here*

Okay, so I respect that everyone is entitled to their own thoughts, beliefs and values. In fact, I may just be the poster girl for this notion, but I find myself becoming impossibly irritated with those who cannot lend the same amount of consideration. Having stood on both sides of the proverbial spirituality fence, even balancing precariously between the two for a time, I like to think that I have a pretty decent and well-rounded point of view considering one's personal beliefs. I am going out on a limb with the next statement I make. And, inevitably will catch flack for said words, but anyway...I contend that is entirely more difficult to assert one's self as a Christian and as a member of the morally "upright" so-to-speak than it is has ever been to consider yourself as a non-believer. It is a socially acceptable position to have faith in nothing, (which I do not disrespect as a choice, but merely for the sake of this rant must state,)to live one's life without commitment to anything but one's whims. I neither respect nor disrespect that personal choice. I do, however, think it takes a great deal of courage to stand for something and to submit yourself to unrelentless personal criticism. I couldn't conceivably count the number of times that someone has told me that to be considered intellectually elite, one cannot also have a faith based personal foundation. This is ludicrous. Is my intelligence quotient directly correlated to my spiritual life? Are not some of our generation's greatest minds faith based individuals? I cannot stand this argument. It's moot. Furthermore, I will talk about religion with anyone until I am blue in the face provided they show me the same consideration and respect that I will indefinitely show them. I don't think it's such an unreasonable request. Simply refrain from berating the other person and quite often, you'll find that you learn another perspective by which to reconsider and reshape your own. In this sense, these discussions can be highly productive, but they cannot be had with those individuals who cannot control their tongue or keep their passion in check. Self-control seems to be becoming less and less reliable. *end out of control rant here because said rant is ultimately and fundamentally pointless*

Gah! How is it possible to be so fatalistic all the time?

Anyone with an answer, please e-mail me at: ProximateArdor@aol.com or hit me up on AIM: ProximateArdor

I'd greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for your time--

Arianne